Caregiver Burnout Is Real: Simple Ways to Reduce Stress with Dr. Julia Guerrini

Feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or like you’re constantly running on empty?
Caregiver burnout is real, and it can affect your body, mind, and emotional well-being in ways you may not even realize.

In this episode, we sit down with Dr. Julia Guerrini to talk about what chronic stress is actually doing to your body and simple, practical ways to calm it quickly.

Hosted by Tina Rains, RN, and Melinda Lee Foster, this conversation offers helpful tools for caregivers who have been stuck in survival mode and need support they can start using right away.

In This Episode:
• What caregiver burnout really looks like
• How chronic stress affects your body and mind
• Simple breathing techniques for instant relief
• Signs your body is overwhelmed and what to watch for
• Why boundaries and self-care matter more than you think
• Easy daily habits to reset your nervous system

—
Hosts:
Tina Rains, RN
Melinda Lee Foster

Guest:
Dr. Julia Guerrini

🔗 Dentalvana

🔗 Instagram

About Dr. Julia Guerrini:
Dr. Julia Guerrini is a general dentist and founder of Dentalvana, known for her gentle, compassionate approach and focus on creating a calm, comfortable patient experience.

She specializes in reducing anxiety and managing stress, helping patients feel more at ease — an approach that extends beyond dentistry into overall well-being.

Originally from Hannover, Germany, she graduated Summa Cum Laude from the University of Central Florida and earned her Doctor of Medical Dentistry from the University of Florida. She is fluent in English and German and also communicates in Spanish and Chinese.

Thanks for listening to We Laugh So We Don’t Cry — honest conversations, real support, and a little laughter for the caregiving journey.

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🤍 Thanks to our sponsor, MasterPiece Care, for providing free caregiver guides and resources. You can also book a free conversation call with Tina Rains, RN through MasterPiece Care at the link above.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:09

Talk about stress. So my mom lives alone. As we were sharing the other day, you know, the one time when she fell, well, my mom there for a while literally was in a place where she was getting so confused. She had to come stay with me for a couple of months. Um, after kidney surgery, she had to have two kidney surgeries and she couldn't take care of herself. So she's living with me, and the stress, it was so stressful and so hard because not only is she in severe pain and she was having some, you know, physical ailments. I won't get into those because I'm sure she'll be watching this and she won't appreciate me sharing. So, but I was so stressed out and dealing with kids and husband and all that, right? Well, then add to that, suddenly she's having a complication from her pain myths and she's getting loopy. And I think she's lost her mind. And I remember scary. It was so scary, and it was so stressful. And and I'm a nurse, I'm supposed to know, you know, all everything. But when it's your own mother, it feels so different. It's just so different because you love them so much, you want them to be okay. And if I'm being honest, there was a part of me thinking, what if she doesn't get to go home? You know, now we're building the assisted living, so she has the place, but right, but you're feeling guilty for you, even having that thought, right? Seriously, the guilt, the like the shame. I'm like, this is the woman that took care of me all this time, and then she she falls again. I'm like, oh God, please help me. You know, the stress of that was like having six teenage kids, and I have four kids, so when I say that, I'm serious. Like, it's like having six rebellious teenagers. It was so hard. Finally, we got her medic medication regulated, found out she had a urinary tract infection, which happened. They're a big, big deal. If your parents starts getting loopy, check their check their urine quickly. Um, in the nursing homes, that's one of the things we're putting in a technology that will track when they get wet. They'll also track like their movements that with AI, because if you know what their norms are, if they're getting up more at night, all of a sudden you're like, you are stressed.

SPEAKER_01 2:25

So that means today, our guest, Dr. Julia Garini. I think that's Garini. I'm gonna let her pronounce it because I'm not sure because she's got the most gorgeous husband. Oh, by the way. She has he's like movie star beautiful. Well, she is too, for that matter. But we want to invite uh Dr. Julia to come in. We're gonna let her help us with our stress immediately, and then we'll talk about her credentials a little bit, and then maybe some more techniques she uses in her business to help her patients reduce their stress and anxiety because um you never know when this is, you know, when it's gonna hit you. And um, is Julia, is Julia in that green room? Are you bringing her in? Because I need help. I need her help now. So before we even like do your credentials, give us an exercise or some sort of input that is an immediate like stress reducer.

SPEAKER_02 3:22

Okay, you know what?

SPEAKER_01 3:24

Just laugh. That's one that reduces stress right away. Laugh will do it.

SPEAKER_02 3:28

Yeah, okay. So an easy one, yeah. Laughter for sure. But a really easy one is to breathe in deeply. If you're breathing deeply, count to five. Imagine your breath going all the way to your belly, and then breathe out, shoulders down. Let's do it one more time. Deep breath in.

SPEAKER_00 3:56

There you go. In an instant, instant is instant, right? For those of you who are not watching the YouTube video and you're just listening, I hope you took your deep breaths to not stop as long as they're not driving. Yeah, as long as well, you can still breathe when you're driving. Pause it for a minute, take your deep breaths, just don't close your eyes.

unknown 4:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:18

So I just want to say that Julia is my dentist now. Like, why is a dentist? Because Julia has this like really narrow focus on having the experience of dentistry take on a whole new feeling for people, so that that stress and everything. And she's like, I really want to help people like all over the world not have stress when they're going to see their dentist specifically. But it it overflows into what we're doing with caregivers too, because we feel stress a lot, and it's hard to release it. So, um, what's another technique that you'd like to share with us that that you use? And maybe you can give some context, or maybe you've got a funny story about something and how you use humor to diffuse something stressful uh in in your practice and your life, because it would be really valuable for all of us to hear.

SPEAKER_02 5:06

Yeah, I mean, gener in general, any sort of stress, um, it's the easiest to move it through movement, right? So setting the stage every morning, like at Dentovana, we actually do a little dance because it's so important to get your energy up, right? You're and you posted those on Instagram.

SPEAKER_01 5:26

I've seen those. They're so fun. It puts a smile on your face when you watch them, don't you?

SPEAKER_02 5:31

Because it really changes your state. It's so much easier than that that mental loop that sometimes we we get into and we're trying to get out of that. But the easiest way is that pattern interruption, you move your body, or sometimes a patient when they're really like like they look so worried, right? You see shoulders up and they're like stressed out because they've had past experiences. Then I would just tell them sometimes to do the breathing exercises to relax them. And then often I tell them to shake the booty. Do it right now. Do it right now. Like you shake your booty.

SPEAKER_01 6:07

No, you're driving, don't shake your booty. The chair has wheels on it, you know? So this is like super fun. Like you wait a second, wait, wait. You should have my pretty pants on. Oh well. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:24

That's so true, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 6:25

That way so that's what you do. Do you actually get them out of the chair to shake or just like in the chair, just like shake it, shake it?

SPEAKER_02 6:33

You know, shake your booty. Just for me saying shake your booty, they're like laughing, you know, because I'm like who does that? Exactly, exactly. But that brings down the armor, just you know, being yourself and really looking at at whoever you take care of, or even yourself, right? If you're the take caregiver, because one of the things like I used to overextend myself all the time because I had this belief system, I had to like I was I always believed, you know, how blessed I am and I want to give. And it's a great thing, but when you become that martyr and you just don't know where to stop, like you give, give, give, give, give, and then you're exhausted. And when you come home, you don't want to talk to your husband, you don't want to make dinner, you just like and want to sleep, right? So that's not a life either. So we are not meant to just give, give, give, give, give and completely forget ourselves. So I hear you saying set some boundaries. Yeah, set some boundaries with yourself, right? Because the problem is really us thinking that we have to, and this is oh, and naturally, I'm a cancer, I like to give, and then society tells you how great you're doing, and then people tell you how much they appreciate you, and it feeds it more and more, right? But it's really not anyone asking me. I was just always the first volunteer. If someone is out, I'm there. If someone needs anything, I'm there. And I could never, I would never even say no because I didn't know even how to. So, yes, boundaries in that regard that you just need to know yourself and know that it's it's so much better to give when you are also filled, and it's also okay to be comfortable. Like, for example, small designs. I used to be like that person in my chair is the queen and the king, and I would do everything possible to make sure they're comfortable during the entire procedure. It could be six hours, eight hours, they're kind of awake. Um, but I want to always I always check in, I always check, are you okay or okay? If they can't turn, I would move my head, I would do all kinds of things to make sure they're comfortable. But then recently I'm like, God, I'm also okay to be comfortable. And I am, I am. I take a little breaks, you know, whenever I feel I'm getting tense, I I let go a little bit and I let go a little bit. Breathe in deeply. 30 seconds makes a huge shift.

SPEAKER_01 9:10

So you can come back and truly be there present for your patient because they'll feed off your energy. If your energy gets tightened up, then they're gonna get tightened up. So that is, I think, probably one of the things I experienced. And I'm not trying to do a commercial for dental vana, but I will right now. Just because, you know, to walk into a business, in this case, dental von your practice, and you've got you're like expanding. So I'm sure people will hear about it. You know, dental vanna. You walk in, you feel like you're walking into a spa. So there's like aromatherapy that's happening, there's like sound that's happening, there's beautiful lighting, there's a calmness about just it's all very clean and beautiful. And Zen, you walk, you walk in and it feels kind of like you're walking into a cloud. And thinking about that, I think how that would feel like if a cloud was embracing you. You know, sometimes I like to do like visualizations that help calm me down, you know.

SPEAKER_00 10:10

Um as you're saying that, I was thinking, you know, as a caregiver, how often do they do the simple things of even going and get their nails done or a pedicure or that spa day? Or, you know, I know when you're in full caregiving mode, you're the last person you take care of. So, Dr. Julie, how would you recommend them setting themselves as priority? Like, what are some practical things that a caregiver could do that would help them to really focus on decreasing their stress and improving their self-care so that they are more present and healthier mentally, spiritually, physically for the family member? Because it is hard. It's so stressful.

SPEAKER_01 10:53

Able to say no occasionally. Sometimes no is a very big word.

SPEAKER_02 10:58

Yeah, very true. But like simple things or or things to keep in mind are our basics, right? Good sleep, uh, good food, um, do something fun. Like I'm I'm chasing fun all the time because we don't have enough fun sometimes. So playing pickleball, um, dance, putting on music, even if it's just a few minutes a day. Start your day with something fun. Like put on music, dance while getting ready, brush your teeth while getting ready. It doesn't have to take a lot of time to change your state, right? And prioritizing sleep, I think it's very important because sleep is regenerative. If we don't sleep well, we're in a bad mood, things just don't work well. So basic things uh take a bath, take a long shower, put on some essential oils. Again, it doesn't take a lot, but those daily things, I think that is important. Make it a daily thing, not a weekly, not a monthly, because those things go super fast. You know, as soon as you're stressed, it goes.

SPEAKER_01 12:06

So I think having those daily things in your in your iPhone as a reminder, breathe deeply for one minute, or stand, you know, with your feet on the ground and connect with the earth and the heavens and you know, at the same time. I mean, I need reminders personally. I I am I am not the best at just taking great care of myself. If I don't have a do X, Y, and Z, you know, I I I should be more accountable to myself, but I I need some help.

SPEAKER_02 12:38

So um Yeah, I put it in my calendar, my physical calendar. I have, I look at it. It's like, okay, when is a time where I can do it this and that, where it's easy, right? Because it's also important that it flows into your day. So I try to do it week by week, if that maybe is helpful for other people. Um, but again, if you do your basics, the sleep, the food, that's already huge. And then if you just in the morning, music, prayer, meditation, something that you do daily that anchors you into that present moment. And then lately, for me, it's really that breath constantly, not just once a day at night before I go to sleep. We need to breathe every day, right? And I think one of the things I wanted to share with you all was okay, can we look at what is happening when we're in this chronic stress? Like, what is physiologically happening to you? So you have more awareness when you do have these symptoms that you're like, oh my goodness, I'm like pushing too much. Let me have that breath right now, right? Because it's I think important once your brain understands that you're pushing, because oftentimes we just don't know. We're exhausted at the end of the day, exhausted, exhausted, exhausted, exhausted, and then you get sick and you're not even thinking what's happened throughout the week, right? This could have been all prevented if we just understand when when we push, your body gives you clues.

SPEAKER_01 14:11

We are the clause. Just name a couple, name a couple clues because some people may be clueless, you know.

SPEAKER_02 14:16

Right, right, but yeah, no, I get it. I wanted to go over that because think about this. The a lot of people don't even know or think about we are supposed to be in balance, like your body is made to be imbalanced. There's this this fancy word homeostasis balance. So, for example, we should be a pH of seven, it's in the middle. There is 14 and basically zero, and we're supposed to be in the middle most everywhere, but we're pushing ourselves out of out of that alignment all the time. So when you're in that constant stress mode, you're you're turned on to this fight and flight all the time. Like go, go, go, heart rate up, I gotta go, go, go. So basically, your nervous system is completely shod, you're completely dysregulated. And when that happens, it affects every single part of your body from top to bottom, right? You start in your brain, suddenly it overfires or underfires, and now memory loss. Like they talk about the caregiver fog, right? So that happens because of that. It does, it really does. And then decision making becomes more difficult as well. And you're like, oh, I'm so not sure. And you you lose your own, like, oh my goodness, I can't trust myself anymore, right? Or the nervous system in your brain that's turned or it's like dysregulated a lot is also that part that keeps you safe, the emergency one. So, for example, you know, if there's a great emergency, this kicks in, but now because it's overstimulated, you drop a bottle of water and it's like an emergency, right?

SPEAKER_01 16:00

Right.

SPEAKER_02 16:01

My mom did this, and oh my gosh, I can't, you know, and you're all stressed about it. Oh, water. Water is also a good one.

SPEAKER_00 16:09

It's very important, especially if it's water.

SPEAKER_01 16:15

But you know, all of a sudden I felt like I needed it, and I could feel my energy like draining from me because I, you know, I needed the water. And and so I mean, but I hear these ridiculous things about how much water. But anyway, keep going with your list because I think this is really, really interesting. You're on, we're on to something that's perfect for the audience.

SPEAKER_02 16:36

So instead of thinking what's wrong with me, it's like, wow, I'm just pushing too much and I need to relax. I need to take a nap today, or I need to, you know, do something for myself instead of keep on, you know, pushing forward. Um, then also what happens in your heart. So having you know shallow breaths again activates sympathetic nervous system, your heart rate will go up, and that obviously is a big problem, right? And then I find myself breathing deep as you're talking. Trying to do. It gets you up into that fight and flight. So, yeah, let's take a breath.

SPEAKER_00 17:20

So good.

SPEAKER_02 17:22

There's a trick when you touch this side, the right nostril, if you close it and breathe in deeply, it really activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which is kind of the left side right here. And if you want to wake up, you do the other way around. You hold this nostril and it wakes you up as well. So there are tricks, right? There are tricks. I love it. I've never heard that one before. Yeah, so again, heart is very important, it's the number one reason why people die, right? Is heart disease. So if we can keep this little heart just relaxed, it's it's just so much better for everyone. So same thing with your stomach, right? If you are in fight and flight, your digestion is not good. People have stomach issues. That's why you hear so much about gastritis and and and problems with the gut. And that's why we're trying to heal the gut all the time because it's out of whack. Most people, you know, and you probably remember when you've been in a stressful situation, it's like you know, your your belly gets tight, everything feels tight, and and it's it's just super uncomfortable. And it definitely will show in how you uh digest food. Same thing with your abdominal, how we absorb food is a big problem too. A lot of people eat a lot, but they're not well nourished, they don't have any good absorptions. So digestion is a problem, problems going to the bathroom, all the things can happen. And sexually, too. Like if you're in fight and flight, you don't think about procreation because the last thing I'm gonna do is a long time. Are you been stressed? Oh my goodness. Let's rewire everything, you know, and you want to sleep. Putting love to the areas is all you need to do. Breathing into the areas, slowing down, loving yourself, being kind to yourself, taking, you know, going from feeling guilty to feeling, no, um I need to give from from a place of love. Because if not, it becomes resentful and you're not yourself, you're not happy. And it affects the uh relationship to your to the person that you love the most that you're caregiving for as well.

SPEAKER_00 19:53

Absolutely. You're such a wealth of knowledge. And when you're talking, I'm just thinking of how difficult that's that season is right for each one of us to stop and go, I'm going to make that a priority. Because the realize if we're not healthy, we're not doing them any good. If we end up in the hospital because we have a heart attack or we have gastritis or we have whatever, we're not going to be of any value to them either. So wow, those are all fabulous, fabulous tips. So thank you so much.

SPEAKER_01 20:23

There's a um uh a great saying and it says, to know and not to do is not to know. Okay. So I'm given that the knowledge, but if you don't do something with it, then it doesn't really count. So if we all just did what you suggest and actually embrace, like I always feel like if I can leave a meeting or a situation like this where we're kind of like trying to help each other and and take one little piece and actually apply it, not just, oh, I took that information in, there it is, oh, that was interesting. Now, next, next, next, but actually apply it in my life. And I am making a commitment to be more conscious of the depth of my breath, to have these deeper breaths just to calm me down because I run a little hot anyway, and I would like to be a little more in that calm zone. What are you gonna do, Tina?

SPEAKER_00 21:20

I am going to pray and breathe. So when I'm stressed, I do exactly what you described. I start praying and just go, Lord Jesus, help me in this moment, whatever it is. And I just take big, deep, they call them square breaths. So you take four seconds in, you hold it for four seconds, then you take four seconds out, and then you hold it four seconds, and then you do that a few times, and that's what calms my heart and gets me back in equilibrium because um, yeah, when you're doing um so many things as we are right now, it's very stressful. So So I want to hear. So we talked a lot about breath today. We talked about sleep. We talked about hydration. So I would love to hear from you that are watching because we want to give you practical tools. Which one of those pieces are you going to do? So put it in the comments down below. What are you going to change? Your more breathing, more hydration, more sleep, maybe all of it. What does that look like for you? For me, I'm going to work more on my self-care, Dr. Julia, of putting it in my phone so that I can make time to work out and then take those hot, relaxing baths because that just soothes me. What about you, Melinda? What are you going to do?

SPEAKER_01 22:41

I told you I'm going to breathe. Oh, just more breath. Okay, deep breaths. Um, and I, you know, I one other thing I'll throw out is like just being present for our partners because they're our support system. And Hank and I were doing this thing called the 20-second hug. And you you just stand still, no hanky panky going on. Just stand still, hug each other, and breathe together in silence for 20 seconds. It's amazing. It's when you really can feel yourself calm down and feel closer to your partner. So I'm going to point out I'm going to add that to my calendar so I actually do it. I know it, but I'm not doing it. That means I don't know it.

SPEAKER_00 23:22

I love that. I'm going to add that too. Oh, great. I encourage you to come back next week. You're going to love it. And we appreciate you, Dr. Julia. And we'll have all of Dr. Julia's information down below. So you can go visit her if you need a great dentist in her area or you want more information on how to de-stress. She's your expert. So thank you for being with us. Of course. Thanks for having me.

SPEAKER_02 23:49

So join us, pull up a chair, you're strong, you're senior right on time. We laugh, we love, we share, we laugh so we don't cry. Join us.